Brilliant a tribute to Dr. Linas Adams; Eating Disorders

                                                              

As most people I have often heard , those of us in the medical field are the worse of patients. My husband Mark and I have just about the same physicians and our doctors always laugh saying Mark is there good patient and I am well.. their most challenging patient . I graduated in 1996 from Columbus Ga as a Surgical first Assist and since those years I have worked Labor and Delivery and spent countless hours in and out the Operating rooms assisting in various procedures. Its a love of surgery that's for sure. I have now spent almost 15 years working for an OPO out of DC recovering organs and tissues for transplants and so as a medical professional I do understand and realize the significance of diseases , however, it has been my own disease that has been my best friend and my worse enemy.


My ED, my eating disorder. There are a lot of myths out there regarding eating disorders. For me , it has never been about being skinny although there is always  little bit of thinking back in my mind. Since the age of 14 , I started with anorexia , it stemmed from being born into a religion and being made to be a part of with out question---- that I didn't ask for. At age 14, at the time I didn't realize it was depression and anxiety that was bestowed upon me , I just thought every 14 year old must be feeling this way . I wasn't allowed to have much control in my life as a Jehovah Witness , your every move and thought is dictated . The eating disorder was the only thing that I had--- that I had complete control over, what I put in and what I put out . Over the years , my eating disorders have fluctuated from anorexia, restricting, bulimia, binging and purging , chewing my food but not to swallow and spit it out . I have self abused my self over 30 years now and it now has taken such a toll of my body . I have even spent time in some of the best clinics and although it works for awhile , my friend ED just comes back , when triggers hit . Although , I have had some great care in the past of physicians, I have also encountered those few who rather than try to help and take the time to understand-- there words such as one physician in Knoxville told me "YOU NEED TO STOP" .. I looked at her like .. YOU THINK... NO S***, Duh.... don't you think I want to stop, don't you think that individuals who have this disease crave food, want food, want to eat , it is the most self controlled thing a person can do is to avoid food when  the most natural thing is to eat .


My latest encounters with my eating disorder has come since hitting past the age of 40, what most people don't understand is that by being bulimic most gain weight , so my looks can be deceiving and this was confirmed by Dr. Adams. Upon our first meeting , I loved him , he reminds me of Phil from Duck dynasty, looks like him and has the same calming sweet and funny disposition, not once did he look at me and say " You need quit " You realize you are just hurting yourself " nope.. he spent over an hour with me learning about my past , my particular triggers with my parents who shun me and he patted me on the leg and said we will work through this together.. wow..


Yesterday on 12/22- Dr. Adams scheduled me for two scopes ( Ive been having upper GI scopes and Lower scopes since I was 28)  my upper scope revealed I have severe esophagitis and severe gastritis with my stomach not emptying like it should, so Dr. Adams took biopsies and we are awaiting those results. While , being rolled back to the OR , I took the opportunity to ask my nurse Melinda and Nurse Anesthesiologist Rob about Dr. Adams. Since I have spent several years in the OR it means a lot to me to know how the doctor I have chosen treats his staff. I asked them do they like working with him in the OR is he demanding or is he a teacher . They both said he is the most brilliant doctor they have worked with and he is a teacher doctor , that made me smile , I saw Dr Adams for a moment when he told me take some breaths and Good night Irene ...lol


An hour later , my husband and I were relaxing in some recliners and Dr. Adams comes in and plops himself into a recliner as well , with his biker boots and biker OR hat on ( you looked great ) he plops his one leg over the chair and just sits back . LOVE , the way he made my husband and I feel so relaxed like we were at home and he was  just kicking back . We made a plan of my care and Im going to try and follow his plan for me .


What Dr. Adams doesn't know , is the trigger I had prior to entering the hospital. I haven't had any contact with my father , since the last call he made to me telling me " Karen you hate Jehovah , you hate all Jehovahs Witnesses and I am through with you " ..


When Mark and I pulled in at the hospital , I saw two gentleman getting out of their car in their suits and ties. I told Mark " There is my dad" my dad saw Mark pull in but at the angle he didn't see me . As Mark was getting out of the truck my dad came around and said "hey buddy what are you doing here " Mark said : Im not , Karen has two procedures " I walked around the corner and dad was shocked to see me  especially since he was in the presence of another Jehovah Witness and an elder at that . I said Hi Dad, he just nodded his head and tearfully I walked into the surgical center. Just bewildered by what took place. My own father couldn't  nor wouldn't acknowledge me , give me hug or a smile instead he walked into the hospital to visit and comfort some other Jehovahs Witnesses who are ailing in the hospital, but his own daughter , his own flesh and blood he couldn't even ask what is going on , would you like for me to come and sit with Mark. It hurt ..


Some have asked why I blog , some say my words make me look pathetic, but what you don't see is that my blog is shared in the virtual world to many of thousands of other former JW's like me , more Karen's out there and the feedback that I have received is their thankfulness, that they are not alone .


My eating disorder , will always be with me , some days, months and years are better than others . This is another burden I am trying to give to Christ and not take back .Dr. Adams asked me to learn THE SERENITY PRAYER and Dr. Adams I read it each day along with my daily little talk with Jesus . I thank the Lord for leading me to a wonderful caring physician .


                                                         

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity 
To accept the things I cannot change; 
Courage to change the things I can; 
And wisdom to know the difference. 

Living one day at a time; 
Enjoying one moment at a time; 
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 
Taking, as He did, this sinful world 
As it is, not as I would have it; 
Trusting that He will make all things right 
If I surrender to His Will; 
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life 
And supremely happy with Him 
Forever and ever in the next. 
Amen.

Read more: http://www.lords-prayer-words.com/famous_prayers/god_grant_me_the_serenity.html#ixzz3v9HeQEw8